Get Real - Join a Process Group

From the movie Men's Group (Australia, 2008).

Would you like an accurate reflection of how you come across to others? To sit as an equal in a group that feels supportive, confidential and trustworthy? To find the opportunity to address and resolve personal issues that have become firmly entrenched? Issues around neediness, anxiety, depression, a sense of belonging, anger, shyness, bitterness, lack of potency in the world . . . whatever?

A process group consists of 5 to 10 people and a facilitator, sitting in a circle. The group has a clear intention to "be fully present" to whatever a member chooses to talk about. There are three simple rules of conduct:

- speak briefly
- speak about yourself
- speak from your heart

These rules can be hard to follow in the beginning. Many of us prefer to complain about other people, or blame them for something they have "done to us," or just talk on and on, hoping to get sympathy or good advice. This is all learned behavior, and rarely leads anywhere useful.

Speaking briefly means that you have reflected on what you want to work with, and know exactly how to describe it in just a few seconds. Speaking about yourself means focusing on what happens inside your energy system, without speculating on the cause. And speaking from your heart means letting your authentic heart-felt feelings flow out and be carried by the words that you use.

A group has a different dynamic from one-on-one therapy (or complaining to your best friend). For one thing, most people pick a therapist who will be somewhat sympathetic, or at least won't challenge them too deeply. This goes for friends too. But in a process group it's harder to hide - there will usually be someone who can push your button in a most irritating way. This is part of the magic: you get to discover and bring to light the deepest issues that sabotage your joy in life.

Group process also moves must faster. When facilitated well, the group has a powerful impact on all its members at the same time. Each member is a reflector to all the others, and each member feels the impact of all these reflections. The group can be trusted to reflect what is going on, and to do it with both kindness and firmness.

It's normal for each group member to sooner or later act out their life issues inside the process group, in the same way they act them out in their family or workplace. Because of the agreement that each person makes when he or she joins, the group develops into a safe container for bringing awareness to these issues, and gives opportunity for trying different ways to resolve them - rather than cycling through the same old patterns over and over.

Martyn Cook is a trained energy healer and facilitator of process groups. He hosts groups of 6 to 10 weeks' duration at Healium, including a men-only group. Duration is 90 minutes. For more information or to join a group, email Martyn at martyn@energyhealing.net.nz or phone 021 675 570.